Skip to main content

Cameron Creath Hidden Bias Reflection

After participating in several of the hidden biases tests I am uncomfortable because diagnosing racism and sexism has always been so intangible. Getting a written result after a test makes me sad because it confirms fears in me that I don’t want to know, like my hidden sexist and racist biases. My first instinct is to act defensively, and point out that I only slightly one way or another. I am compelled to point out that I could be a lot worse, or that my biases are harmless because they are only categorized as slight. I don’t want to come across as bigoted. I don’t want my interactions with other people to be tainted by seeing one group of people as preferential. Like all of my interactions with the group I don’t prefer will now be insincere or false. 

My second reaction (perhaps obviously) is guilt. I feel this enormous weight of guilt that I have these biases that I logically know are wrong. It’s so easy to deny the biases when they cannot be quantified. Before taking these tests the biases are only theoretical. I feel guilty having a slight automatic association of Women with Family and Men with Career. I have some shame about my results that I wouldn’t want people to know. I feel like now I have something to hide and before I didn’t.

I only got one test result that was completely neutral. According to one test I have no automatic preference for straight people over gay people. That actually surprised me, that I didn’t reflect any guilt or shame over my homosexuality. I’ve never felt any, but I just assumed it would be there. 

My best friend (a heterosexual female) also did the same test and got a result that she has a moderate automatic preference for straight people over gay people. I guess it’s not shocking, and its not insulting to me either, but I wouldn’t want people knowing that about me.

One result that I was not surprised by was that I have a slight automatic association with Women as Unattractive and Man as Attractive. Being a gay man who often feels guilty and uncomfortable when just being in proximity to sexualized females I actually stand by that one. 

Lastly I was very pleased to see that according to one of the tests I moderately Identify as more Happy than Sad. Sometimes I am insecure (internally) because I don’t know if I am lying to myself about feeling happy. I have fought off a lot of unhappiness. Depression runs in my family. I only feel like the person I want to be when I am taking my antidepressants. I am actually proud to be in this category, considering all of the physical, social, and professional insecurities that I harbor.  


I don’t know what to do with this information. I don’t know what the goal is after this. Now that I know about some of these results I’m not sure if I am obligated to change them. What is right and what is wrong? Am I supposed to have no preferences? I am curious to know what my fellow classmates think they want to do with the information they have gotten from their test results. 

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

HIP HOP AND THE PRISON SYSTEM

“With five percent of the world's population, the US incarcerates 25 percent of the world's prisoners” (Daisy Hudson, Noisey Magazine. 2014). That same year “African Americans constituted 2.3 million, or 34%, of the total 6.8 million correctional population, though African Americans and Hispanics make up approximately 32% of the US population, they comprised 56% of all incarcerated people in 2015 (NAACP). The prison system in America serves not as a correctional facility, but a container for which black bodies are buried alive. The conditions of which inmates are kept, the disparity in numbers and portrayal of those incarcerated. There is no question that factors such as education, employment, mental and physical health; the lack of access to such resources targets and propels African Americans through the pipeline to prison. In our history, it seems that prison, or largely the criminalization of African Americans, Black men in particularly, has been used as a tactic of oppr...
Post a Comment
Read more

Tuition meeting

Speaking point: We have spent over 60 thousand dollars on this school so far, we have tolerated the raise each year. At some point we do not have more money to give and we are pushed out along with all of our debt including interest. With this false start we lack the motivation to attend another school in the future, therefore leaving us uneducated and in debt. Other than the knowledge gained, this would be a waste of two years of my life and in fact sets me back in my career.
Post a Comment
Read more

CalArts Garden

The reason why I choose this topic is that I know a lot of students are complaining that CalArts is too plain. It is just one main building with a small campus. I would like to design a space for the CalArts campus where students and teachers can work together as a community and taking care of the plants. The community can hold a farmers market, season food festival or food-related artwork competition.    Few things I read about the benefits of school garden:   -  Gardens create opportunities for students to work cooperatively and to take on responsibilities.  - Gardens provide unique opportunities for cross-generational connections.  - Students learn to focus and patience, cooperation, teamwork, and social skills.  -Combining language arts and gardening activities brings a hands-on element to a subject normally taught lecture-style, providing inspiration and motivation for students who struggle to focus in traditional cl...
Post a Comment
Read more